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Submitted on
February 25, 2012
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(Contains: violence/gore)
A while back I drew this. [link]

Then I thought it'd be fun to see what kind of feedback I'd get if I asked for an accompanying short story, which was this. [link]

As part of the deal :iconvladspellbinder: ask for this very image. Well... not exactly this. The request was for the CMC and the aftermath of one of their cutiemark attempts. So I immediately thought, "Hey, compound fracture!"


Incidentally, I am legitimately trying to improve myself as an artist, so this is going to be the first of probably many pieces that I'm requesting a critique on. Those who know about art, like are actual art majors or graduates or people who are just way better at art than me, please give me some feedback. Please focus on the technique and not the content. I get it, no one wants to see Snappedlegaloo.

Thanks in advance.
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:iconronvarone:
Always loved your pictures and your sense of humor. If no one likes this because of the content then they have never been in a situation like this.... Good times... Stupid dog...
From Left to Right shall we?
Applebloom's pose is kinda... weird I'm not sure what it is she's actually doing. Is she in mid-stride? Is she pointing at the situation at Scoots hoof? Her expression is spot on and mildly hilarious. Her eyes might be a little close, almost like she's staring at her nose and not Scoots. Something to play with.
Sweetie Bell: You've added some detail. only in the horn. Her expression doesn't quite do it for me. It doesn't sell the whole "we're fucked" kind of situation. Since AB and SB are the only ones talking about options have her turn slightly to her and let Scoot be 'ignored' to the obvious solution: Get Help.
You have her shoulders scrunched and I'm not sure why, since isn't scrunching much. Reverse her spine to make her lean forward raise her hooves up to her forehead and make her eyes smaller. More panicky I guess.
Scootaloo: Anatomy really isn't an issue but it's something to improve one. You have an idea for a line of action but doesn't flow through it. I know whats going on. But my attention wasn't drawn to the wound. With that said you should've done more detail with her wound instead of her face. Her expression is the underlining action and the main focus should be her leg.
And this is something I wanted to bring up with the last two, why does AB and SB have their face grayed out and not Scoot?

The background was a nice touch but I don't think it was needed. With that flood of words behind the characters it gets lost pretty easily. Like your previous work a simple white background with a smoke tower in the back would have been just as good.
Less is more.

Overall there's not much bad with this. Just work on those story telling poses. If these ponies didn't have faces would we still know what's going on? (Poses, poses, poses!) It's better to be told to tone it down than it needs more.
The picture as a whole is very cramped. Not sure for artistic style or not but it doesn't appeal to me.
And as a personal question that does not have to do with the critique. What did they do? Did they try to shoot Scootaloo out of a canon? And WHERE did they get it at this hour?!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
12 out of 14 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconterrel-kun:
I must say, this picture took the CMC concept to a different level, it's one of the most original pictures I've seen recently. Instead of having a funny accident, it shows one of them in a real accident and the other two in a serious rush, which is actually a good idea.

The first thing I noted when I saw the picture were those "yelling" words in the background. I think dialog here is not really needed, in a picture like this you can allow the picture itself and the expressions of the characters to tell the story, if you want to put dialog you can add it in the description. That's my opinion, since the words can distract the viewer.

Also, I feel like Scotaloo's hurts could have more impact. Her expression clearly shows extreme pain, but the wound itself looks a bit...dry to my taste. Usually a compund fracture releases much more blood, no matter how slight is the bone exposure. It's not bad, but it could show much more damage.

As for the other two, I think they're okay. Apple Bloom looks very frightened, but Sweetie Bell could look much more worried.

The picture is fine, actually I liked it. It really makes me wonder what were these girls doing to really screw poor Scootaloo. Maybe you could add a background story? It would give the picture a nice "plus", since it already attracts the attention of the viewer to wonder what happened there.

Maybe you only need to work a bit in the expressions, don't worry about how exagerated they could look - after all, it's a cartoon. Keep the good job! :D
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
17 out of 17 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconaskmerisstheskeletal:
oh fuck! is that bone?! lets get you to the hospital! -flies her to hospital-
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:icondarkdoomer:
darkdoomer Dec 10, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
"quick! rub dirt on it" remains one of my fav. catchphrases.
Reply
:iconknexfan100:

you have 2 choices: the rainbow factory or the glue factory (btw, anypony that eats glue is a cannibal)...

 

 

wait, oh, I forgot..... equestria apparently has free healthcare for literally everything (and some of the best doctors too).... you'll be fine

Reply
:iconepic3000:
epic3000 Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yeah... i don't get it.
Reply
:iconhealingblight:
Off to the knackers yard with scootaloo.
Reply
:icon99-cells:
I used to be a crusader, but then I took an arrow to the knee.
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:iconpeirei:
PeiRei Mar 12, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
What the...

I don't even want to know xD
Reply
:iconjuria316:
Oh sweet Luna, poor Scootaloo.
Reply
:iconfref:
Can I use this as a thumbnail picture for a fanfic on Fimfiction?
Good day.
Reply
:icongavalanche:
Gavalanche Feb 27, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Sure.

Thanks for asking first.

If you don't mind, send me a link to the story.
Reply
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